5 Days. Only 5 days before every change I have feared all summer will be thrown in my face. Maybe I'm a baby, maybe I'm selfish, maybe you really don't care about my fears and anxiety about what I think is going to be one of the biggest changes of my life thus far. But we all have different perspectives and definitions,not to mention feelings on what we consider scary, terrifying, anxiety inducing, changes. Your move to college maybe have been low stress all fun, but I am different than you and life with different circumstances.
All of this has made me think long and hard about why change is so scary and can be so debilitating. Any change is going to cause you stress. But that might not be bad stress. It might be excitement. You finally bought that house you've always wanted. But it might be bad stress too. You are moving across the country away from your family and everything you've known you whole life. It can be exciting and scary at the same time. The fear that comes with it though, is simply the fear of the unknown.
Why am I so scared to move away? Because I am scared of the unknown. It simply comes down to that. I don't know what's going to happen, what awaits me, what struggles I will have to overcome, problems I'll face, how everything will play out. But I can't know, no one can. I may have more worries than the average 18 year-old, but that doesn't mean I should let that stop me.
We humans, we find comfort in routine. We all do. We know what will happen, when it will happen, and we can plan. But obviously routines can't stay the same forever. Changes have to happen. Identifying what we fear about change can help us know what we are feeling and why we are feeling that way.
I fear living away from my home for the first time in my life. I have never lived outside of New Jersey and now I will be miles away, with winter break being the first time I can come home.
I fear what problems will arise from my food allergies and restrictions. How will I have enough money to buy what I need while also cooking as much as I can, but still using the mandatory money set for the dining hall. How can I trust someone to cook my food when I have been cooking it all for years. Will I get sick?
I fear finding the space and time to devote to my yoga practice. College yoga classes are out (way to easy) as well as studio classes (no money). I need to find a space to have my practice and be able to use my online videos as well.
I fear how much work I will have. I think all students fear this, but I had such bad seniorits last year, I hope it wore off and I am back to my old highly studious self.
I fear finding time to blog and all that entails. Cooking, social media, emails, maintenance, writing, reading. Blogging is still so important to me I would never stop. I am going to cut back on how much I post, but I can't and won't stop.
I fear navigating a brand new city. I am a rural girl. I have lived in the county my whole life. Cities are foreign to me. But I have to remind myself how I felt that first time in DC. I felt amazing. It has been my dream to live there and now I get my chance. I just hope I get my city legs and don't get lost or stranded.
I fear staying organized and on top of everything. I am independent and have been my whole life. I am super organized and know what I have to do. Yet when things get to be so much and now completely on me, I get scared. How will I know I am taking the right classes, I am doing the right work, I am completing things on time?
I fear not seeing my family for months at a time. I've seen my mom and talked to her every day of my life. Now I won't. Yes, I will be calling her up...a lot.
I fear I am going to make the wrong decision. My major is going to be a waste. I shouldn't have picked GW.
I fear losing myself. I'm scared I just won't be able to handle it all. That I'm not ready.
That is all nonsense. I have dealt with change before. Maybe not this much at one time, but I have and I know I can do it. I'm not going to be living at home the rest of my life. I know how to handle my food allergies after 5 years. I will make time for my passions yoga and blogging. I know I can be my studious self and take my education seriously. I will find my way in the city. It just takes time. I know how to be organized and independent; I always have been. I will see my family and my dad can always pick me up if I have to come home. I am not making the wrong decision. GW was my dream school and I was blessed with the chance to go. I can always change my major, I am only a freshman. I will adapt, it just takes time and it takes a positive mind.
I won't lose myself because I know I have support and love. I can get help if and when I need it. I am not being forced to do anything. This is a change I want and have always wanted. I am scared now because I simply don't know. I don't know, but I won't know until I try. And I am going to try. We can never really never "ready" for change, we can only see how it goes, adapt, embrace, and try.
So tell me:
+ What's one change that you were terrified of, but you gave it a try anyway?
+ Are you good with adapting to changes?
**Yesterday was a really great day. One of the best I've had all summer. I now feel a lot better about this coming week and my mind is in a pretty okay place right now! Sometimes me need those good days, and yesterday was that for me. I'll tell you more about it on Friday, but for now, have a beautiful Power Monday!**
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normaleverydaylife
My oldest just left for college this week. I know she was and is experiencing many of these fears, too. As her mom, I'm experiencing different fears. Change is hard, especially when it's a totally new experience. This is an exciting time in your life and I think you'll do great! Sometimes the build up and wondering how it will be is the hardest part. #saturdaysharefest
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
Good luck to her! Yes the before and the settling in is really the hardest! But the changes will soon become the normal! XOXO
Rachel
All of the changes you're about to experience are definitely a little scary... but they're surrounded by a very exciting time in your life and some great opportunities!
I think that colleges requiring freshmen to use meal plans are ridiculous, but unfortunately there are students who are not responsible enough to figure out their own food and need that safety net. Fortunately in the past 7 years (from when I started until now) there's been a huge increase in awareness for dietary needs! I hope you don't have any problems.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
The meal plans are just more ways for the colleges to duck your money and my school so far is terrible with food restrictions :/
Cindy (Vegetarian Mamma)
Happy Monday dear! Or well for me its now later in the week, just catching up π
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
Uh, okay, thanks.
Kaila @healthyhelperblog!
WE ALL HAVE THESE FEARS! So you're definitely not alone! It's good that you're recognizing them as irrational and countering them with positive truthful thoughts. I've experienced a lot of change since first starting college. Feel free to email me if you want to chat or voice your concerns! kaila@healthyhelperblog.com
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
Thanks!
heidi
Change is scary, but great things always come with change. It's always a chance to grow.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
It is, and I know I will be doing A LOT of growing!
Emily @MyHealthyishLife
Freshman year is a big adjustment and so much of it sounds intimidating going in. Funny, I wrote a bit about my experience this morning. Change can be such a scary thing but just take it one step at a time and you'll rock it!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
Thanks Emily! I'll go over and read your post π It will probably help me, haha! But I will take it one step at a time! That's all I can do at this point π XOXO
Gaye @CalmHealthySexy
I am old enough to be your mother, but I still remember how difficult going off to college was for me! I can actually feel the fear of change that accompanied it, if I stop and remember that time. But, as is so often the case (at least for me), most of my fears did not come true. Yes, the first semester was difficult in some ways, but the adjustments I had to make were good ones. You are well prepared for college. Your independence, organization and skills as a self-starter will serve you very, very well. I will certainly be thinking about you as you make this exciting change.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
Thank you so much Gaye! XOXO
We ALL get though it right? It just takes time , patience, and a good mindset. We have to grow up sometime and start doing more and more things that scare us! Starting NOW!
Brett
Great thoughts! My parents are moving for the first time in 35 years - I'm sending mom this link! xx, b @ being-bianca.com
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
Thanks! Well I hope it shows them they are not alone!
Kristen.kupperman@gmail.com
Going away to college is tough, and all of those fears are valid. There will definitely be some tough times in your first few months. But there are going to be so many awesome times that you never thought you could have. Things I would suggest based on your worries: get a good planner so that you can write out all of your due dates/assignments in it (most professors will hand out a very detailed syllabus on day 1 and it will have all the tests/due dates on there), try to find other people at school who love yoga or who share the same dietary needs as you - it sounds crazy but there are so many little clubs and groups that meet about random stuff so you can meet people that way and do those things together, and check to see what free yoga events are going on in DC that you might be able to do. Also, even though you'll have a roommate chances are they will probably not be around all the time - even if they take a night class or go to the library you can get some yoga time in your room! If you're read my blog at all in the past 6 months you'll know how much I hate change and how much it stresses me out, but it really is worth it! Good luck with moving down there, and I can't wait to read all about it!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
Thanks Kristen. It will just take time to figure everything out and get a new schedule. But I know I can do it even though I'm scared to death!
Casey @ Casey the College Celiac
Change is definitely not easy. Because my Dad is a Marine and I've moved 9 times, I was used to change when I first left for college last year. That didn't make it any easier. The workload, yes, will be tough. Dealing with food allergies/celiac in the caf is definitely frightening and it takes time to begin to trust the cooks. Everything about college is a little difficult, actually. But you know what? It's worth it. College - freshman year, especially - is a whirlwind of change, successes, failures, adventures, confusion and, finally, confidence. You'll kick butt at it, just like you do with everything! π
What's your major, btw? I don't think I ever heard! π
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
You said it perfectly.... Thanks Casey π XOXO
Right now I'm majoring in International Affairs hoping to concentrate on National Security and Middle East Studies!
Kristy @ Southern In Law
Hey girl, change can be terrifying - but you just have to embrace it! Know that nothing is permanent and that all you have to give is your best shot - you're not committed to a life sentence of living away from home, but you need to embrace the opportunities you have and make the most of them to see what it's like!
Who knows - you may just fall in love with the changes!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
Thanks Kristy! I was totally in love with all these changes....a few months ago...but then the real reality struck and I was like WOH HOLD UP! But I know I can get that feeling back once I just get used to the changes and actually get down there and settled! I WILL embrace it! XOXO
Nikki Vergakes
At first I freak out over change, but I adapt pretty quickly. The only constant in life is change. You'll do fine, I had the same worries too!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
Ha, your right! It is the only constant...in a strange way π
Thanks XOXO
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul
Change can be super scary! You got this girl!! I'm sure once you meet some people with like-minded interests at GW the transition will be much smoother. π
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
I hope so! I am sure it will, there is just so much opportunity and people to meet!
CARLA
I just to dread and do ANYTHING TO AVOID IT
now I just think yoga
OM
"the transition is as important as the pose"
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
O my gosh! I love that! That is so true "the transition is as important as the pose!" Thank you for reminding me to channel my inner-yogi π XOXO
Brittany Lesser
I think change is always scary, but it's something that is so important for you to grow as a person! New experiences, new friends, new everything. I'm sure you will love it, just taking that first leap is always scary. You're not alone girl! Love ya! <3
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
You're totally right Brittany. I think after a few weeks and that first initial shock is over, everything will fall in to place! It always does eventually! XOXO