**Written on Tuesday 9/9/14**
So I just finished a HIIT session on the bike down in the gym. I always hate doing cardio, but after I finish I always feel 100% better. It’s just that before dread, before anxiety. My stomach even gets upset beforehand and I usually have to pop a Pepto to settle it. (Is that weird?) After I finished today, I felt one of those sparks of writing creativity and inspiration (they have been happening a lot lately). I don’t have anything to write on except this squishy yellow package envelope I just picked up from the mail room. I didn’t even make it back to my room before I really just had to sit down and write this. I am sitting right here in the empty dining hall (except for two girls on their laptops and an annoying coughing kid eating pudding. Ugh! I am sick and I’m not coughing!) Anyway… I needed to write because I am having a college-career-life crisis.
I really don’t think I should be here. I don;t want to study or do work (I don’t think I even have that much. Is that normal? **Lie, that all changed this week**). My classes are done so early every day and then I have all this time to contemplate my future. I am to college with the career goal of working in government or the CIA. But is that really my passion? I find all that subject matter and the world interesting, but is that what I want my future career to be in? They say it is 100% okay at age 18 to not know what you want to do in life, but that is such a fallacy. You do need to somewhat know. College education costs massive amounts of money and time. I don’t want to waste either because I have so little of both. I always thought I was an academic, everyone who knows me thinks that, but now I am starting to really question that.
I think I know my passion now. Yoga, fitness, cooking, and health. The things I have to try so hard to keep going strong in my life right now because of this college journey I undertook. But I really think I have it now. Yes, my ideas for my future have changed so many tines, from lawyer to doctor to CIA. But I think yoga teacher and holistic living clearly defines what I crave and enjoy in life.
Should I follow this?
Will it make me happy? Can I make a living?
I’m lost and only feel “found” when doing these things I love…
So tell me:
+ Have you found your passion? Do you follow it?
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