Home sweet home! I really want to apologize to New Jersey. I took it for granted and always looked at its faults (which there still are many, but that really just has to do with the people here, haha!). It really is a nice place to live (at least the area I live). It’s safe and homey. I’ll always love home, I know that now. When you’ve only ever lived int he same area your whole life, yes it can be boring and make you want to get out, but you also just ingrained with loving it at least a little.
Driving home on Saturday was pretty surreal. When we got a few miles away from home and I started to see familiar landmarks, I felt pretty overwhelmed. It felt like I never left, yet it always felt like I was a foreigner. Then pulling into our driveway and going into my childhood home for so many years, it was the strangest thing. It felt like it was still that last August night, packing the car, freaking out about going to college. Yet, I also felt like it was a completely foreign “not-my” house.
You know when you walk into someone else’s home and it has a smell you’re not used to. Not the smell of your own home, the one you really don’t notice anymore, except when you come back from a long vacation. I smelled my house. I still smell it. My room smells different. My bad is so low to the ground (unlike my dorm bed which is high to begin with, plus it has risers). My teeny tinny room also feels like a huge master bedroom. Wide and spacious compared to my dorm. I still have the reflex to flush the toilet with my foot and not my hand. The floors are creaky, the lights are dim, there are people that I love more than anything, with all their quirks and the same dynamics, moving about around me.
I guess this is what growing up feels like. Your home doesn’t feel exactly like your home anymore. I can’t imagine what it’s like to move across the country or out of the country. To leave the home for more than 6 months, for years. It must be incredible, but that feeling of love for that strange place you had always called home still comes back when you see it, when you smell it. Everything is the same, yet everything is so different. There are just so many memories, good, bad, and ugly. It’s crazy to think that one day I won’t be coming back here, to this house ever.
My mom surprised me with a REAL tree again! We had always gotten a real tree every year, except for the last few when my mom became allergic. She knows how much I dislike out fake tree and how much I CRAVED a real one again. So she bought a small real one and has it decorated on a table, as well as the fake tree in its normal location. A beautiful touch to come home to and I totally love it!Read More