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Home » Personal » Reading...What Happened?

Reading...What Happened?

Published: Feb 18, 2014 · Modified: Dec 24, 2014 by Rebecca Pytell · This post may contain affiliate links.

As a little girl I was always fascinated with books. I just liked the feel of them in my hands, the beautiful words and pictures springing from the page. I was definitely one to judge a book by its cover though. But that never stopped me from loading my arms full of books from the free book bin in the children's room at the library. I would go in scan the shelves while my mom was busy in the adult section, but my scanning wouldn't last long. I would quickly sneak over to the treasure cove of free books that were just calling my name. "Rebecca, Rebecca, pick me!" Of course as a little girl, when something says free, that means go all in. So I would load all the good looking books, even the ones that were way above my level, and then snack past the librarian with my monstrous stack. I always felt like I was committing a crime with all the books I would take.

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I read books for a while in my younger years, but then once reading became a required thing in school, marking down how many minutes you read each day for a homework grade, it was no longer something I enjoyed. I still took out books from the library, free and actually shelf books, but they would sadly sit whimpering in my book crate, unopened and unread. When life was simpler I would always find my mom sitting in her room with her nose in a novel engrossed for hours in a book. I would come and sit next to her on the bed and be amazed by how lost she could get in a book. To me reading someone else's words seemed pointless. I always said,"Why read someone's made up story when I could make one up myself and it could be even better. Reading is such a waste of time!"

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I actually went through  period in middle school where I loved to write. I would get notebooks from the store and sit for hours writing fiction stories (but never ended up finishing any). But that too soon stopped. Literature was just not my thing. Then in the summer before freshman year of high school we were required to read two books from a list they gave out. O how I dreaded it. I chose a book I had already read the year previous in school so I would only have to skim over it before the test they would give us in the beginning of the year. The other book I chose was Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson. I don't know what happened, but that book changed my views on reading forever. I became so engrossed in that book and read it in record time. Two and a half days and I was done, but craving more. I asked my mom if she had any books I could read and she happily went in search of some of her old favorites as a teen. I loved the books she gave me. They were all very old, yellowed, and musty from the basement, but the words inside were what mattered to me. That summer I ended up reading 29 novels. Crazy! I was so proud of myself and so in love with my new hobby. That summer was also a difficult time for me so I think the books and reading were an escape. It was all I did. That was the start of me waking up before the sun, grabbing a cup of tea and ready for 3 hours until I fell asleep again. I owe it all to Laurie and her book Speak which now I find embarrassing as I would never pick up a young adult drama like that now. But that just goes to show you not to judge a book by its cover!

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I continued reading everyday and every minute of my spare time. I even started volunteering every week at my local library because I loved just being around in the deserted stacks of books. I would become mesmerized in the silence and serenity of the library. Books surrounding me and so many great reads just waiting to be opened.

But then I discovered blogs. I only started out reading my 6-7 essential everyday reads so it wasn't to time-consuming. But then I started drifting from my wonderful hobby and love of reading actual novels to quick easy fun blogger talk. And then I started my own last summer. Well once that happened and my scope of blog reading expanded 100-fold, reading books started falling to the way-side. For some reason the internet and social media are just so much more appealing to me now. I get sucked in on my computer or phone surfing the blog world, reading my 150+ Bloglovin' feed everyday to zero, twittering, pinteresting, etc. I am even on hiatus from my volunteering work due to a "busy schedule". And then I look and see my poor lonely novel sitting there before I go to bed, just crying out to be picked up and read. Most days I don't read a single word from my book. Other days I force myself to get through a few chapters. But then reading for more than 30 minutes makes me so damn tired I end up falling asleep with very little progress made in my book. By this time in 2013 I would have already read at least 5 books. I am still on book #1 for 2014. The book my brother gave me on Christmas. I love the story, and the genre is everything I look for, but I just can't find the time, the passion, the desire to read.

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I look at my sad Goodreads page from time to time and see all the amazing books I have read over the years. I think back to those stories and how great it felt to get lost in them and feel like I was a part of that world. I also see my list of to-read books growing and growing (even though I stopped browsing for more recently) but with no hope now of ever getting read. I would always keep that list down to 50 or less but now it is growing with nothing getting checked off. I have so much to read, so many books I want to read. I have a whole shelf in my room of other books not on that list to read as well. I want the time to read, I want that feeling of escape and book love back in my life. Why has the internet stolen that? Why has my attention been cut so short? Why doesn't reading give me the same gratification and sense of passion that it once did? I am so sad, upset, and even angry about it. My priorities are not in order. I am not spending my time wisely. Technology should not be this important in my life. But how to I step away and back into the pages of a book?

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Maybe this is my anxiety has been through the roof lately, why my Trich came back full force (although I always found myself mindlessly touching my face while reading even back then). Maybe this is my mind and body crying out, telling me to slow down and realize that reading needs to be a part of my life again. I had time once before to read and cherish books, so why can't I find the time now?

I need to find the time, I need to open a book, I need to lose myself in a story, I need to fall in love with reading again. I love books and I just hope they will forgive me and love me back once I rethink my priorities.

I am sorry, old-wonderful-life-changing-hobby. I miss you and I want you back!

So tell me:

Are you a reader? What book made you fall in love?

Do you feel like technology, life, "unnecessary busyness" has taken away something you used to love?

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Deborah Smikle-Davis

    February 25, 2014 at 11:15 pm

    Hi Rebecca,
    I used to be a voracious reader. I used to go to the library and read every book by an author with great joy! I bought books by the dozen and loved living with them. I joined a book club/reading group and enjoyed discussing good reads with friends. But I must admit that you raised a good point, even my book reading habit has been altered a bit by my new obsession with reading online--blogs, web sites, and social media, in particular. I still love to read a good book when I travel by plane, train or cruise ship! Thank you so much for sharing this thought-provoking post on the Healthy, Happy, Green & Natural Blog Hop! I appreciate it!

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 25, 2014 at 11:29 pm

      Reading and physical books are going to change majorly as they already are in the next few decades. Its sad and scary!

      Reply
  2. B.Brittain-Marshall (@ritewhileucan)

    February 24, 2014 at 10:05 pm

    I am a self confessed reading junkie (along with lots of other ‘vintage’ hobbies – letter writing and stationery). But as you can see, since I am commenting on your blog, I am wired into social media too. I don’t think that it is the case were you can only have one or the other; I think they can co-exist. That is the goal anyway. I wish you every success in getting back your life changing hobby. Visiting via “InspireMeMonday” linkup

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 25, 2014 at 1:03 am

      Ah that definitely is the goal....balance right? But that balance is always on such a thin line.

      Reply
  3. Christy K

    February 22, 2014 at 12:13 pm

    Definately reading online has cut down my time for reading from books, but it hasn't eliminated it completely, and it feels different when I've read lots from books. Books take me in someplace deeper than blog posts. Blog posts are too short. They're like watching commercials instead of a full length movie.

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 22, 2014 at 12:57 pm

      That is a perfect analogy! Posts are just like convos with friends, not something you can truly relax and escape in.

      Reply
  4. Samantha

    February 22, 2014 at 8:55 am

    I have always loved reading and still do tons of it! I certainly go through cycles, where some weeks I won't read at all, and other weeks I'll read 4-5 books. It has helped me this year that I made a goal of reading at least one book a week (forces me to stay on track, and at least get a little reading done every week!)

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 22, 2014 at 9:25 am

      My time is just so consumed and squandered by blogging, school, and technology, working out, and cooking. Reading just slipped and it is so hard to get back on track!

      Reply
  5. Heather @ The Soulful Spoon

    February 21, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    I totally relate to this Rebecca. As much as I love the computer and working from it, many days, I resent that I have to be on it to make a living, though I know in my heart I wouldn't trade it for the world.
    I used to be a total book worm too. Seriously- my nose was always in one. To this day, I still LOVE bookstores. Just the smell sends me over the moon. But no matter how many books I buy, I never seem to get any read unless I'm on the treadmill! Isn't this sad?! I don't even like the idea of a Kindle because it isn't a real book. I MISS reading and I miss WANTING to read. Ah... I don't know how to fix it, but thanks for writing this. I want that part of myself back too.

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 21, 2014 at 5:31 pm

      Ah! Yes I love just being surrounded by books! They are so beautiful. And I am totally against Kindles and eReaders as well! I will never ever get one. My eyes get too much screen time as it is, why would I want more when the task should be the real traditional book reading, not technology. I want my passion back too and I am determined to get it!

      Reply
  6. jillconyers

    February 19, 2014 at 4:22 am

    I love to read! Sadly, it hasn't been very high on the priority list lately. I read a lot during winter and summer break 🙂

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 19, 2014 at 5:13 am

      I had intended on reading a lot during winter break...but that was a total fail. The Summer is the best time when I can knock out at least 20 books!

      Reply
  7. lovenataliemarie

    February 18, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    I went through some of the same phases as well! I was enticed with books for hours and hours on end. I always had a book and you'd always catch me reading in my spare time. I then drifted onto writing, but that didn't last long, so I went back to reading. I think what ruined the magic was the requirements from school. I was no longer reading for joy. I was required too. That just sucks out all of the passion pretty much. I wish I had more time to read, but school is so hectic right now.

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 18, 2014 at 11:35 pm

      It is just my own fault that I am not making my reading a priority. But I guess that is also life and those phases. Hopefully this phase won't last forever and I can get back to enjoying my old passion again soon!

      Reply
  8. Kim

    February 18, 2014 at 7:51 pm

    I can't remember a time that I didn't love to read!! My favorite childhood book has always been Little Women. I pretty much only read a few minutes at night - except in the summer!! Then I still like to lay in the sun and read for a bit every day!!

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 18, 2014 at 8:28 pm

      I read little women this summer for school! Haha it was not my cup of tea though.
      That is just another reason why I live for the Summer! More time to read!

      Reply
  9. Kimberly

    February 18, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    I really identified with this post! I have always loved to read. I had some difficult things happen in childhood and reading was my way to escape my life into someone else's. I always wanted to grow up and write a book of my own. My first novel was published in 2010. Lately I've been reading a lot more non-fiction, mostly in the realm of self-development, because I'm at a point in my life where I need t figure out who I am and where I want to go from here. But I miss those days curled up with a good story and think I want to go back to them, but I never seem to find the time.

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 18, 2014 at 7:20 pm

      Reading can be so comforting in those hard times. It allows you to get away without actually leaving. I didn't know you wrote a book?! Tell me more! Or can I find it on your blog?
      Non-fiction is nice sometimes, but never beats the magic of a fiction novel. It is so sad that we always feel to busy for the simple beautiful things in life.

      Reply
  10. Healthyactivst

    February 18, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    I am definitely a reader. If you are concerned about technology and social media eating up your time (I know I am) I have a book to recommend for you. I just read The Circle by Dave Eggers. Check it out.

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 18, 2014 at 2:19 pm

      Haha, okay I will! Thanks 🙂

      Reply
  11. loramarie03

    February 18, 2014 at 10:46 am

    I agree, I used to be a huge reader and now it’s hard to find the time with everything else going on in life. I have a goal this year to read at least one book a month. I went through a period where every book I picked up was “meh” so that turned me away from it too. I have read some really good books lately which has helped!

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 18, 2014 at 11:35 am

      I used to read like 2 books a week! But I think a book a month should be feasible now! That is my goal too 🙂

      Reply
  12. Courtney @The TriGirl Chronicles

    February 18, 2014 at 9:55 am

    This sounds like me. I loved, loved, loved to read for so long. But technology has definitely killed it for me. I always feel like I "don't have time" to read anymore. I should make a goal of reading at least one book this summer. Lay out on my deck in the sunshine and get a few pages in everyday.

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 18, 2014 at 11:28 am

      In the summer I get those extra hours from not being in school so it is easier to read then. Like this past summer I would eat dinner out on the deck and read. It was so nice 🙂

      Reply
  13. kristenk

    February 18, 2014 at 8:51 am

    I'm a big reader too, but like you I also kind of gave up reading books for reading blogs. I'm leaving for the Disney Princess Half Marathon tomorrow (ahhhh!) and I plan on reading a good book on the long drive down!

    Reply
    • Strength and Sunshine

      February 18, 2014 at 8:59 am

      O my gosh! Good luck!! Exciting and yea that would be the perfect time to get a jump start on a new book 🙂

      Reply

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