I really can not even tell you how excited I am that you’re coming down to DC this weekend! I haven’t seen you since August 23rd (except for that one time we Skyped). That’s crazy, but what’s even crazier is how much I’ve missed you! I’ve never experienced this kind of emotion before. I’ve never missed my best friend, I’ve never had a best friend to miss…except now.
I’m so glad we’ve been able to at least talk on the phone and check-in with each other almost every day. But talking and texting only go so far. I need to feel your presence and the safety you exude. Sometimes I just get this overwhelming felling of fear. I’m scared and I don’t know why. If I knew you were here, I think that would help. You are more than a mother to me, you’re the most important person in my life.
It hurts me that you’ve already missed so much, so many little things. Little moments or things that have happened or I’ve overheard. Normally you would be the first person to tell, but I always forget these moments by the time I talk to you at the end of the day. That’s why I think you should more down here. We could rent an apartment and we could be roomies 😉 (Then you could do my laundry…it still stresses me out. I’d rather clean the toilet.) In exchange I’ll cook…you know I’m dieing to do just that. We could also open out own business. I’m thinking a fitness/yoga studio. I could teach and you could to the marketing and office work. You could also start writing that novel of yours or do some freelance work on the side. It would work, don’t shake you head!
Not everyone has a mom they’re so close with and can call them their best friend. I’m one of the lucky ones. I can. I’m lucky you’re not one of those mothers wearing mom jeans or obsessed with dyeing their hair blonde and going to the tanning beds, trying to stay “hip and young” forever (even though they are just rick and snobby). You my friend, know who to keep it real.
I miss your quirks too, believe it or not. That tell-tale sign that your home when the endless clearing of the throat commences. Using every piece of silverware we own just to make your sesame Glutino bagel (which you only ever eat half of). Driving in the car with you…o boy. (There is one Vex driver who reminds me of you. It’s hilarious and always puts a smile on my face.) Knowing that you’ll be in the kitchen (at the table on your laptop in a pile of clutter or making something to eat) when I come down there to start cooking. Now I have to hold my breath and pray that some glutinizer isn’t using the oven or making a mess in the hall kitchen if I want to cook. (The other day there was cooked pasta all over the counter and floor!)
But really, I just miss you and everything you are to me. There is NO ONE like you. NO ONE. You are totally one of a kind. How you talk (loud and a lot, switching from one topic to the next because your mind never stops to focus for too long), how you walk (fast), how you sleep (with a lot of fans and praying you don’t wake up sick with a headache), how you think (like I said, a mile a minute), how you care (so much), how you work (so hard and unappreciated), how you cook (well…you don’t), how you heal (with your mother’s presence and touch), how you love (unconditionally).
You are my mother, my confidant, my care-giver, my healer, my best friend. We talk, fight, gossip, motivate, cheer up, hate, get frustrated with, argue, laugh, but mostly love.
You don’t have to do anything else but be there. Even the silence on the other end of a phone call is enough to calm me down. Just knowing that you are there, feeling out connection, knowing you alive.
And you’re going to be here soon! A joy! I can’t wait to hug you and see your smile. (Please smile and forget your worries down here. I like it when you’re happy!)
(This was inspired by my bloggie friend Katherine!)
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