This is why I don't think yoga at a studio will ever work for me (at least my own practice). I would love to teach of course and share my love for the art one day, but my own practice is solely my own and can't be done in a class setting. I think I always knew this, even before I took my first studio class back in September. It felt like I was back in dance class (my long 13 year career of competitive dancing). The setting was something I "knew", but it gave me that same vibe. That vibe of competitiveness and wanting to "show-off". Not very yoga-like. This was an easier level class too (the only would I could find) so I had it in my head right off the bat that I would be too advanced.
I modified and practiced harder poses and always took the deeper variation. But I left feeling so unfulfilled. I focused too much on showing off my skill and lost that part of the practice I love. The feeling and true release. I knew then, that I would not be back. I would be back, however, to my own perfectly crafted home practice.
Thus, I've come to the conclusion that my yoga is not your yoga. Nor is your yoga her yoga or his yoga. Each yogi is different. (Yes, if you practice yoga, even once a week, you are a yogi). Yoga is such an individual practice. Just like each and every human on this earth is different, each and every practice is different, and that's the way it should be.
My yoga is pretty clearly defined to me now. After 4 years of practice I have found what exactly I like, while I still grow with it each time my toes sink into the soft yellow foam of my mat. My yoga is not your yoga. My yoga is:
...a revitalizing flow
...a moment of safety and security
...a home away from home
...a flow of strong movements and power
...a relentless journey of mind body connection
...a build up and then release of stress and emotion
...an invigorating intensity in the muscles, joints, and bones
...a feeling of confidence and engagement with the present moment
...a moment of care-free selfishness and self-love
...a time to challenge balance and stability within the body
...a grounding physical art form that forces me to leave it all on the mat.
My yoga is not your yoga. My yoga is a personal practice that needs to be done alone. It is my discipline and workout, my escape, my dedication, breath. It is my connection to the beauty and wonder of the Earth and the bodies that occupy its space.
My yoga is not your yoga.
So tell me:
+ What is your yoga?
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