St. Patrick’s Day is either a normal day or a day of some great food and celebration of Irish heritage for most of us. To me, March 17th, is a day I won’t ever forget. This is the third year I’ve felt this. It encompasses so many emotions. From anger to sadness and and frustration. But also understanding and that these shitty, life-changing days do happen. They happen to everyone and will always happen. There will always be a day or days that leave a scar on your heart. Some more mild and some so horrible they can be unimaginable. But it’s inevitable and they’re all difficult to forget.
What I’ve learned from this day and other days that have left scars, is that you must let the bad feelings go and find something else to get out of those days. From death, illness, divorce, and other tragedy, there is always something else, however small, that can be taken from those days. Through the pain, once it dissipates, you will be able to find:
– Creativity: These days may spark an interest in expressing your feelings in an artistic and new way. Paints, drawing, singing, writing. I’ve used this day in many writing pieces I’ve done. It has given me great raw and honest material.
– Strength: You survived the day. Even though it will come up again year after year, you survived the pain once and you can survive it and the memories again.
– Clarity: It’s hard to come to terms with something the day it happens. but as the years go by, we can begin to rationalize it and understand a bit more. We aren’t flooded with emotions and have time to come to terms with it.
– Relationships: Sometimes these days may make us lose someone or have a relationship crumble. They can also invite new relationships from connections to those who had common experiences or strength relationships that may have been brought together and closer than they were before.
– Gratitude: O, it’s hard to be grateful for a long time after one of these days scars you. But once we can find gratitude, it’s a beautiful thing. The life we do have, the things we still hold. It isn’t all lost and there is so much to still be grateful for. I promise.
– A Kick In The Pants: (aka Motivation) Some of these days that occur may be event that lead us to that push we’ve always needed. That puch to let go of something and go for something new. Something we truly want in life, but may have been to scared to try. Life is precious and every moment should count.
– A Story: Like I said with my writing and the material it has given me, these days give us stories. Real, raw, honest, emotional stories. These stories have impact and show that life is so complex, complicated, and unforgettable. These events allow us to connect and realize we’re not alone. We’re never alone.
It takes time, scars will heal, but the mark will always be there. They create memories we can never forget, but we can grow and take something from them over time.
So tell me:
+ No questions, just your thoughts if you’d like.
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Sherry says
Very thoughtful and thought provoking. Thanks for linking up and sharing with us at Funtastic Friday. Hope you can make it again this week.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you 🙂
kimmythevegan says
Beautiful and thoughtful. Thank you for sharing these tips, I hope your day wasn’t so bad this year. I find these days get slightly easier to handle as the years wear on – I have one coming up in about a month. It’s been 10 years and I think I will write about it on the good ole blog that day to let the creativity out instead of being angry and sad and wanting to consume large amounts of junk food.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Yes, it wasn’t so bad. Just a day to slow down a bit and think.
Please to write! It can be such a great CLEANSE!
heidi says
The rough days do make us stronger, but don’t you always wonder on those days do I really need to get any stronger?
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
No, I don’t. I always think and KNOW that I can.
Angie Agerter says
It’s amazing the downs we can face and think we’ll never get past them, yet we do. And when we do we are stronger then when we started. Plus like you said, they give you stories and past to tell. *hugs*
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Yes, 100% Angie! And thank you! XOXO
Nichole says
You are a beautiful and strong person hun. These kinds of days definitely do stay with us but I agree with everything you said, we can learn so much from them. When the dates roll around they are nothing to ignore and we will always feel something, but that’s because we are human and for you, you are a caring individual. xoxo
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you so much Nichole <3 You are exactly right, we are all human, and life is always going to have these events and days. But since we all have them, we can all connect and know we are not alone!
Erin @ Putting Socks on Chickens says
Sending hugs, thoughts and prayers your way. I hope you were a little bit stronger by the end of the day.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you so much Erin! XOXO
Cynthia @ You Signed Up For WHAT?! says
Hang in there – it is hard to have a date on the calendar that means one thing to so many and something difficult to another. Hugs.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you Cynthia! XOXO
Kristy @ Southern In Law says
Sorry to hear M arch 17th isn’t a good day for you, gorgeous!
Tough days make us stronger and you definitely have the right ideas for setting aside the bad and getting on with life!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Yes, thank you Kristy! We can only get stronger from living through the bad! XOXO
Evolve with Mary says
My negative experiences have made me stronger and shaped me into person that I am today. I know yours will do the same. I’m sending you some serious positive vibes today. I hope they help
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Yes, they do shape us and make us who we are. Hopefully in a positive way in the end though!
Thanks Mary!
Ariana says
I’m sending you lots of love and positive thoughts today! <3
I would have to say that while there isn't any one particular day that carries negative emotions for me, there was a series of events that happened over the course of a few years, with one of the events signalling it was time for me to make a life-changing decision. That day was hard, but now each time it rolls around I celebrate because I'm so grateful for the way my life has changed!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you sweetheart 🙂
That’s great that you had positive change come out in the end! Makes it worth it and looking back easier to swallow!
Alyssa @ Simply Quinoa says
I’m sorry this day carries so many emotions for you. I hope that with time it gets better for you! xoxo
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thanks Alyssa! XOXO
AJ @ NutriFitMama says
So sorry today is one of “those” days for you! I know we all have them, but it still doesn’t make it easy. You have a great attitude towards life, and it sounds like you will definitely come through stronger even when put through difficult situations. *hugs*
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you so much dear! XOXO If we all keep that (at least try our best) good attitude, things are easier!
Farrah says
April 5th tends to be that sort of day for me. I’m completely with you on all of these though. Finding things to be grateful for and strengthening my relationships with loved ones helped me to get through it initially, and writing has definitely too. Going through it, however unpleasant, does help to at least make me stronger + better able to handle things the following year.
I’m sorry that this day carries so much negativity for you! Sending lots of hugs and warm thoughts! <3
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Each year we can get better at handling it as we keep on growing!
And thank you so much Farrah! CXOXO
Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday says
This is a beautiful reminder. I’m sorry today carries such bad memories for you, but I’m so, so glad you can look at it now as something you learned from and that you emerged from stronger than before. Thinking of you on a tough day!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you so much Ellen 🙂 XOXO
genevieve @ gratitude & greens says
Rebecca! I hope you are okay and making it through this day with a smile on your face. I’m sorry this day carries painful memories for you, but remember all the wonderful things you have in your life and continue to move forward with the ways you have set out above. I know you will come out of this stronger- because you already are! Sending hugs xoxo
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
XOXO Thank you so much Genevieve! Love <3
Katie @Mom to Mom Nutrition says
I’m sorry that today marks an emotional negative memory for you. But it sounds like you have equipped yourself with strategies to get through it. You’ve got this girlfriend!!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thanks Katie! XOXO I have and I hope to help others with these types of days too!
Elle says
I guess I am a bit of an oddball because I don’t purposely remember the DATES of things that make me sad. I do know some of them but I don’t MARK their passage, normally not even mentally, really. For instance, I do happen to know the date of my Father’s death, but I celebrate his birthday and normally let the anniversary of his death pass quietly by.
I am sorry today is a difficult one for you. Perhaps, in time, it’s power to hurt you will be diminished. I do hope so.
In any case, sending smiles and support your way.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
This one says in my mind because it happened on St. Patrick’s Day. A definitive marker.
Joy @ Joy Love Food says
Well said. I agree completely with what you write about strength and clarity. Bad days – or time periods – are tough, but we do get through them and then find ourselves better equipped to handle the painful situations that life sometimes throws at us. Wishing you the best today 🙂
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Yes! They do leave us better equipped! Thank you Joy! XOXO
Amanda says
There is so much strength in this post! I just stumbled upon your blog, but the way you wrote this definitely pushes me to come back. Beautiful words. I am sorry this day is one of “your days,” but I thank you for sharing!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you so much for reading Amanda! That means so much to me and thank you! XOXO
Alanna says
You will only become stronger from all of this 🙂
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Yes! XOXO
Christine Gallagher says
I am sorry you feel this way today but tomorrow will be here soon enough, I too have a hard time on a few days out of the year I lost both my parents and those days are tougher than others but all days are hard. Everyone tells you time will heal the hurt but it doesn’t you just find ways to live with it or deal with it but it’s very much still there, my mom has been gone 20 years this past January and it’s still tough. I hope knowing you’re not alone will get you through another March 17th =) please feel free to contact if you feel the need <3
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
I can’t imagine the pain you must go through on those days 🙁 But, you’re right. We learn to live with those days and channel the feelings and memories that come up differently.
Thank you for sharing that too. XOXO
Christine Gallagher says
=) Thank you
Anne|Craving Something Healthy says
I admire you so much for being able to turn what must have been really horrible for you into this beautifully written post that will inspire others to see the positive side and move forward. I like to think the bad things that happen to good people help to make us even better and stronger. Thanks for sharing.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you so much Anne. I hope I can brighten someone else’s bad days. That would be another great take away from my own bad days for sure!
Alexis@FItnancials says
I loved reading this post. As a person who is fairly hard on themselves, I make sure to read certain quotes I save on my phone every morning. I always tell myself to look at how far I’ve come instead of how far I have to go. This helps on the especially hard days where I feel like throwing the towel in, whether it be with relationships, schools, my health. Having strength is so important throughout life. Great read.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
It is! Strength is what makes a life beautiful no matter what!
Lisa Sharp says
Thinking of you during this tough day. I hope you can find some beauty and joy today.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you Lisa 🙂
Sam @ PancakeWarriors says
I hope today brings you all the positive things this lists shows, like new relationships, creativity and clarity. As shitty things happen, they are often balanced out with enormous fantastic things, all of which make us value our everyday just a bit more. It’s so easy to let the pain recoccur because we think we deserve to feel it, but finding the joy in continuing to live our best life day after day is where I think it’s necessary to shine. Sending hugs!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
That was so perfectly said Sam! XOXO Thank you so much!
Shashi RunninSrilankan says
Oh Rebecca – I am so sorry to hear that something that caused you frustration and sadness happened 3 years ago – but you are one awesome gal to be able to focus on the strength and clarity and gratitude (among other things) that you have gained through it.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you Shashi 🙂 XOXO
Linda @ Veganosity says
“These stories have impact and show that life is so complex, complicated, and unforgettable.” And fragile. You always amaze me Rebecca. You’re younger than my kids yet you’re so wise. Be strong today and know that you have so many people who care about you. xoxox
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you so much Linda. I’m so glad you’re my blog friend 🙂
Heather @ FITaspire says
Since I know life can’t be all rainbows & unicorns, i like to look at the hard times as a chance to learn something. And reflect on the good times that came before, when it comes to a person loved that was lost. Hoping today is good to you. *hugs*
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Yes, focusing on what we can learn from them and that some of these things may have been for the best is what to strive for. XOXO
Michele @ paleorunningmomma says
Sending lots of hugs your way today! I know exactly what you mean about these days, the more life we live the more of them we accumulate but then the perspective changes with time, just as you’ve written about. We gain so much from experiencing the tough times. That doesn’t take away the experience, though, and feeling it is always hard. XOXOXO
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Exactly. There will be more, but with each one we get stronger and as time goes on, we can push the bad feelings away so get something better out of them!
XOXO
Natalie @ Feasting on Fruit says
Sending you love my dear XOXO Difficult days suck. But time and life keeps going, and we do get through them and feel so much stronger for it.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Exactly <3 Thank you dear!
Dezzie says
I love this post. It’s so hard to look at what you gain from those difficult days, instead of just focusing on what was lost. I’ve never thought about gaining Creativity and a Story from hard days, good perpective! You’re so encouraging, Rebecca!!
xo!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
I think those are what I can appreciate most!
XOXO Thank you my friend!
Channing says
Blogging has brought me so much joy in a time in my life where there was a lot of sadness. If I had know a long time ago how much I would enjoy it, I would’ve started much sooner.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
It can be a great outlet if that’s you intent for your blog.
alyssa says
What a fabulous perspective! I definitely can relate on having days that, god, I wish I could erase from my memory. But we have the strength in us to turn them from some ugly monster into something beautiful. 🙂
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Not beautiful, just something we can live with.
Emily @My Healthyish Life says
I’m sorry this is a tough day for you, but good for you for looking at the bright side now. Those hard times can teach us a lot.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
They do, but they’ll never be easy :/
Dixya @ Food, Pleasure, and Health says
no matter how hard things get, its very frustrating in the beginning but with time we get stronger…and at the end of the day, i like to reflect on things that are going good for me and be thankful for that. sending you hugs.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Yes, Dixya. The good things in our lives are so much more important and beautiful then pain!