Home sweet home! I really want to apologize to New Jersey. I took it for granted and always looked at its faults (which there still are many, but that really just has to do with the people here, haha!). It really is a nice place to live (at least the area I live). It’s safe and homey. I’ll always love home, I know that now. When you’ve only ever lived int he same area your whole life, yes it can be boring and make you want to get out, but you also just ingrained with loving it at least a little.
Driving home on Saturday was pretty surreal. When we got a few miles away from home and I started to see familiar landmarks, I felt pretty overwhelmed. It felt like I never left, yet it always felt like I was a foreigner. Then pulling into our driveway and going into my childhood home for so many years, it was the strangest thing. It felt like it was still that last August night, packing the car, freaking out about going to college. Yet, I also felt like it was a completely foreign “not-my” house.
You know when you walk into someone else’s home and it has a smell you’re not used to. Not the smell of your own home, the one you really don’t notice anymore, except when you come back from a long vacation. I smelled my house. I still smell it. My room smells different. My bad is so low to the ground (unlike my dorm bed which is high to begin with, plus it has risers). My teeny tinny room also feels like a huge master bedroom. Wide and spacious compared to my dorm. I still have the reflex to flush the toilet with my foot and not my hand. The floors are creaky, the lights are dim, there are people that I love more than anything, with all their quirks and the same dynamics, moving about around me.
I guess this is what growing up feels like. Your home doesn’t feel exactly like your home anymore. I can’t imagine what it’s like to move across the country or out of the country. To leave the home for more than 6 months, for years. It must be incredible, but that feeling of love for that strange place you had always called home still comes back when you see it, when you smell it. Everything is the same, yet everything is so different. There are just so many memories, good, bad, and ugly. It’s crazy to think that one day I won’t be coming back here, to this house ever.
My mom surprised me with a REAL tree again! We had always gotten a real tree every year, except for the last few when my mom became allergic. She knows how much I dislike out fake tree and how much I CRAVED a real one again. So she bought a small real one and has it decorated on a table, as well as the fake tree in its normal location. A beautiful touch to come home to and I totally love it!
I’m still feeling strange and things are interesting. But marvelous as well! I’m really trying to find ways to enjoy life and make it interesting. I want to have something to remember, I want to LIVE life. Ever since that SoulCycle class, I’ve wanted to keep doing different things, new things. For instance, how I started “running” 4 weeks ago. I feel weird even saying it. I still can’t call myself a runner. I feel like a fraud. But maybe that’s just me being…me?
I’ve been going on 1 short run a week. Really short, and really slow. My Sunday morning runs. I pull on my NOLA leggings, a long sleeve, jacket, compression socks, my sweater headband, and penguin mitten gloves, and a scarf. Then I tie up my Asics and step into my FlipBelt which hold my house key (or key card when I’m at college). Then I turn on my Nike+ running app on my phone (which I hold in my hand) and I set off. So yesterday morning, I went on my first NJ run. No goal in mind, a semi-route in mind, and just my thoughts to keep me company.
The sky way grey and cloudy, but it wasn’t too cold. I wanted to run just a little more than my last run of 1.64mi. I ran on the empty streets, a loop close to my house, some hills, some railroad tracks, but very peaceful. Now, this was the first time I got the app working right on my phone, so I was surprised when it shouted out mile 1 and the pace I ran it at. I still had to get through a few more streets to get home so I kept going at my very slow pace. When I made it back to my driveway, I hit end run. I was so overcome with pride. 2.23 miles at an 11.58 minute average pace. That’s right. I was not embarrassed, I was so proud. I felt so good. Being fit and LIVING feels so good.
I haven’t felt this excited and ALIVE with my fitness routine in a while. I just love my workouts and I love how they make me feel. Now I am loving keeping things interesting and doing different things, trying different things I have only deamt so long about doing! Of course, I won’t be running more than this once a week jaunt. I like it, but I don’t want to do something stupid and injure myself and risk my other activities which I love me (weight lifting and yoga). However, next Sunday, the 21st, Kristen is holding a virtual Winter Solstice Virtual 5k! I already signed up and plan on running my first ever 5k that Sunday! It may take me 40 minutes to complete, but I am going to do it! You can sign up here, I already did! This is going to be a major feat, but if I complete this, I will have accomplished one of the biggest goals I had for 2014, which was to run a 5k!
I have so much to say about running and fitness right now. I am working on a more in-depth post, but in the meantime, let’s all go out with a bang and finish 2014 simply amazing! Live, love, and be excited! You’re ALIVE! I know I am!
So tell me:
+ When did you accomplish your first 5k? How did you feel afterwards?
+ What’s making you feel ALIVE right now?
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