Home sweet home! I really want to apologize to New Jersey. I took it for granted and always looked at its faults (which there still are many, but that really just has to do with the people here, haha!). It really is a nice place to live (at least the area I live). It’s safe and homey. I’ll always love home, I know that now. When you’ve only ever lived int he same area your whole life, yes it can be boring and make you want to get out, but you also just ingrained with loving it at least a little.
Driving home on Saturday was pretty surreal. When we got a few miles away from home and I started to see familiar landmarks, I felt pretty overwhelmed. It felt like I never left, yet it always felt like I was a foreigner. Then pulling into our driveway and going into my childhood home for so many years, it was the strangest thing. It felt like it was still that last August night, packing the car, freaking out about going to college. Yet, I also felt like it was a completely foreign “not-my” house.
You know when you walk into someone else’s home and it has a smell you’re not used to. Not the smell of your own home, the one you really don’t notice anymore, except when you come back from a long vacation. I smelled my house. I still smell it. My room smells different. My bad is so low to the ground (unlike my dorm bed which is high to begin with, plus it has risers). My teeny tinny room also feels like a huge master bedroom. Wide and spacious compared to my dorm. I still have the reflex to flush the toilet with my foot and not my hand. The floors are creaky, the lights are dim, there are people that I love more than anything, with all their quirks and the same dynamics, moving about around me.
I guess this is what growing up feels like. Your home doesn’t feel exactly like your home anymore. I can’t imagine what it’s like to move across the country or out of the country. To leave the home for more than 6 months, for years. It must be incredible, but that feeling of love for that strange place you had always called home still comes back when you see it, when you smell it. Everything is the same, yet everything is so different. There are just so many memories, good, bad, and ugly. It’s crazy to think that one day I won’t be coming back here, to this house ever.
My mom surprised me with a REAL tree again! We had always gotten a real tree every year, except for the last few when my mom became allergic. She knows how much I dislike out fake tree and how much I CRAVED a real one again. So she bought a small real one and has it decorated on a table, as well as the fake tree in its normal location. A beautiful touch to come home to and I totally love it!
I’m still feeling strange and things are interesting. But marvelous as well! I’m really trying to find ways to enjoy life and make it interesting. I want to have something to remember, I want to LIVE life. Ever since that SoulCycle class, I’ve wanted to keep doing different things, new things. For instance, how I started “running” 4 weeks ago. I feel weird even saying it. I still can’t call myself a runner. I feel like a fraud. But maybe that’s just me being…me?
I’ve been going on 1 short run a week. Really short, and really slow. My Sunday morning runs. I pull on my NOLA leggings, a long sleeve, jacket, compression socks, my sweater headband, and penguin mitten gloves, and a scarf. Then I tie up my Asics and step into my FlipBelt which hold my house key (or key card when I’m at college). Then I turn on my Nike+ running app on my phone (which I hold in my hand) and I set off. So yesterday morning, I went on my first NJ run. No goal in mind, a semi-route in mind, and just my thoughts to keep me company.
The sky way grey and cloudy, but it wasn’t too cold. I wanted to run just a little more than my last run of 1.64mi. I ran on the empty streets, a loop close to my house, some hills, some railroad tracks, but very peaceful. Now, this was the first time I got the app working right on my phone, so I was surprised when it shouted out mile 1 and the pace I ran it at. I still had to get through a few more streets to get home so I kept going at my very slow pace. When I made it back to my driveway, I hit end run. I was so overcome with pride. 2.23 miles at an 11.58 minute average pace. That’s right. I was not embarrassed, I was so proud. I felt so good. Being fit and LIVING feels so good.
I haven’t felt this excited and ALIVE with my fitness routine in a while. I just love my workouts and I love how they make me feel. Now I am loving keeping things interesting and doing different things, trying different things I have only deamt so long about doing! Of course, I won’t be running more than this once a week jaunt. I like it, but I don’t want to do something stupid and injure myself and risk my other activities which I love me (weight lifting and yoga). However, next Sunday, the 21st, Kristen is holding a virtual Winter Solstice Virtual 5k! I already signed up and plan on running my first ever 5k that Sunday! It may take me 40 minutes to complete, but I am going to do it! You can sign up here, I already did! This is going to be a major feat, but if I complete this, I will have accomplished one of the biggest goals I had for 2014, which was to run a 5k!
I have so much to say about running and fitness right now. I am working on a more in-depth post, but in the meantime, let’s all go out with a bang and finish 2014 simply amazing! Live, love, and be excited! You’re ALIVE! I know I am!
So tell me:
+ When did you accomplish your first 5k? How did you feel afterwards?
+ What’s making you feel ALIVE right now?
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kimmythevegan says
So glad you are home for the holidays! It will feel a little less like home over time, but the nostalgia always comes back =) I moved about 2.5 hours away from home to go to college initially, and then my husband and I ended up settling there. It seemed close enough for me. But now that we live in California… it’s a good 5 hour flight home, then another 2 hour drive. Ah well, we may move back one day.
That was so nice of your mom to get the real tree! So sweet =)
And yay for running! I love running – I’m a runner! I started just running once a week, short & slow like you – it morphed into a lot more. It can become additive, I’ve done a full marathon and several halfs, but I’m now only interested in 5km & 10km. I remember my first, I got a little teary-eyed. It made me feel so GOOD! And accomplished.
How fun – I hope your Solstice run went well. You are actually running a great pace =)
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
If you go further away for college you tend to stay further away afterwards it seems :/
A marathon 😉 One day……
Thank you! 😉
Amber says
Your tree is so pretty!
I will never run a 5K. I’d die. I think it’s awesome that there are people who do it though.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you!
What’s amazing is people who run marathons….and ultras! Haha!
Rachel G says
It definitely feels different when you go back home after spending time away! I hope you really enjoy your holiday!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
It does! Thank you Rachel!
Katherine G says
Congratulations! That is so great! One of my New Year’s resolutions is going to be to start running. I need to start setting some goals and sticking to them. Your post is so inspiring.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Do it! Just go out and run, don’t make plans, just do it one day and you will WANT to do it again!
Rachel says
I totally understand feeling like a stranger back in your home town. I wanted nothing more than to get out of Tennessee. And even though I have no intention to ever go back, I still sometimes find myself missing a bit of the culture and quirkiness that I loathed while there. Funny how time works like that. Thanks for sharing on Merry Monday!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
When something we’ve known all our lives suddenly goes missing (even if it wasn’t our favorite thing), we get that ache of missing it!
Tania Vaughan (@TaniaJVaughan) says
What a wonderfully honest and encouraging post – I did my first 5k in the summer for Cancer Research – the sense of achievement and doing it for charity was great. Crossing that finishing line hand in hand with the girls I ran with certainly made me feel alive. I do 5k walks most days with the dogs and just breathing deeply and noticing everything around me makes me feel alive. Hope it goes reall well and enjoy it – just keep going 🙂
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
That is so wonderful! How special that must have been!
And thank you!
Nicole @ Foodie Loves Fitness says
Ha, I’m from New Jersey too and feel the same way! When I go back, on one hand I feel happy that I’m not currently living there, but on the other hand, I’ll always call it home and there’s so much about it that’s so familiar and homey to me. And I always defend NJ when people make fun of it to me!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
I think I’m going to have to defend it big time now too! It is just too special to me!
Melanie @ Nutritious Eats says
That feeling of coming back to the home you grew up in is pretty special. Even now (and I’ve been out of the house for a LONG time) when I go back to my childhood home (where my parents still live) I take in everything you mentioned- the smell, the hight of the sink and bed, etc. It’s such a strange yet cool feeling. Enjoy your break!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
It do is! I never want to lose that “home” feeling though!
Thank you!!
Shirley @ gfe & All Gluten-Free Desserts says
I remember that feeling of coming home and it really not being home any longer. It’s part of that transition phase to one’s “own” life and home, so to speak.
Have a wonderful Christmas!
Shirley
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
It is! Really sad, but part of life!
You too Shirley! XOXO
Bailey K. says
I’m so happy you’re home and enjoying your holidays. It’s weird how “home” becomes something totally different than “home” when you’re away from it for so long. A strange, but good, and sometimes bittersweet feeling.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you! And yes, that is the EXACT way to describe the feeling!
Sonali- The Foodie Physician says
Such a lovely post. That was so sweet of your mom to get you a real tree 🙂
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
It was! Haha, thank you!
Sandi Gaertner (@sandigtweets) says
This is a lovely post. Your tree came out really nicely 🙂
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you!
Kristen says
Ahhh so many things I love about this post!
1. Thanks for the virtual race shoutout! I am so excited to be running “with you” this weekend!
2. Yay for being home!!!!!
3. I got a bit teary reading about you coming home. I love that feeling and I’m so sad I won’t be able to do it until next fall. Going home after a while is weird but feels so great!
And YAY FOR RUNNING! I love that you’re liking it so much!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
When you posted about the race, it was perfect timing and I knew I had to do it!
Home is amazing….the longer we’re away the more strange but so special it is when we return! XOXOXO
Emily @My Healthyish Life says
So much to comment on! First, I’m so happy for you that you’re home and you have a real tree! Nice early Christmas gift 🙂 I know what you mean about coming home while in college. It feels different at first and it’s hard to adjust your schedule, but it feels natural after a while. I’m excited that YOU are excited about running. The virtual 5k sounds like an awesome challenge and one I know you can accomplish.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you! I’m lovin’ the tree(s) and all the lights! It feels so comforting!
I’m am overly stoked about running this! My dream is finally a reality, even if it is super small and doesn’t seem like a lot!
(Do the 5k on Sunday too!!!!)
genevieve @ gratitude & greens says
So glad you got home safe and sound! Home is where the heart is- I know exactly what you mean by returning to a place that feels so familiar but different/strange at the same time. I’ll be cheering you on your 5k from where I am! Maybe I’ll even decide to join the rest of you. I ran my first 5k in high school, and then did my first 10k in my senior year of high school. I was really proud of myself when I finished! I haven’t run that far in a long time (opting instead for the elliptical at the gym, because I can nerd out with a book while I do that), but I’m planning on getting back to running sometime this year. What makes me feel alive is waking up and being excited to start a new day! Going for walks and looking at the sky always makes me feel alive, too. Hope you are having a lovely Monday 🙂
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thanks sweetheart! It’s strange but nothing feels as good as home right now!
You should come out and run Sunday! I am so excited, haha even though no one will know what I’m actually accomplishing! I am going to feel extra ALIVE when I’m done!
Rebecca @ MyEagerFeet says
Congrats on the run! I started the same way – not really worrying about distance or pace. It’s amazing how quickly you improve when you first start. (If only it could always be that way!) A 5K is a great first race to run. To me the key was to never feel bad about going “too slow”. It’s important to keep it fun!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Right! I’m just looking to accomplish a goal I’ve had for myself for so long, I don’t care how long it takes me, as long as I do it! I am 100% okay with my slow pace!
alyssa says
I’ve never had a real tree so I am soo jealous of you! And yeah, sometimes it can be hard to see the good things about our hometowns until we’ve taken some time away from it. 🙂
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Never!? That is so sad! Real trees rock!
Yes, that is just so true!
Rebecca says
Congrats on finishing up your first semester! My parents remodeled the whole first floor of their house during my 1st semester in college, so I went home to a completely foreign house. It was the weirdest thing! At least I wasn’t home while they were doing the remodel 🙂
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you!
That would be so weird! Haha, no remodeling here 😛
EA-The Spicy RD says
Lovely post! I’ve lived in different parts of San Diego most of my life, so that is always home to me, but Dallas will probably be my second home since I went to college there, then later moved there for 2 1/2 years w/ my husband and daughter, and my son was born there. Whenever I fly through there, or go to visit, it still feels a little like home too 🙂 Congrats on your running and upcoming race! I was a huge runner starting in High School and College, then got injured so many times that I finally stopped for a LONG time. But i picked up VERY occasional running again a couple of years ago when my daughter was in Girls on the Run and she wanted me to run a 5 K with her. What an incredible feeling it was completing that race with her by my side! I still try and run every now and then, and as long as I don’t do it too regularly, no injuries so far-knock on wood 🙂
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
I’ve only ever lived in NJ, so I’ve never had that feeling before now!
Haha, I wanted to be a Girls on the Run Coach a few years ago….but I knew I needed to be able to run myself first before I could fully share the experience!
Emma @ em-poweredwellness says
That is exactly how I always felt when coming home from college! It’s home but it’s not home…
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
It is a crazy new feeling!
Chickgettinfit says
When I ran my first 5k I felt ecstatic. I was absolutely amazed my body could run that far. It’s amazing to see just how far we can really push our bodies.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Yes it is!!!
Rachael@AnAvocadoADay says
At thirty it still feels the same way coming home! Enjoy your time with your family!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thanks Rachael 😉
Margaux says
My husband and I have walked a lot of 10kms but we still want to try jog a 5km! It’s on our bucket list for next year, so reading your excitement about running is definitely motivating 😀
Also, your xmas tree is absolutely beautiful! We’re in the dead of summer here so it always feels a bit too silly to have a tree – last year we had a wire tree with chocolates strung to it, which is more our speed 😉
Let us know how your 5km goes!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
DO IT! (Plus, slow and steady wins the race, right? Haha!)
Thank you! Hey, any tree with CHOCOLATE is a fun festive winner in my book 😉
Amanda says
I remember that same feeling coming back home after months away at college. It was different, yet all the same. 10 years later, I still have those same feelings every time I go back to my parents house!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
I think that feeling is always going to be there every time!
Alanna says
Feeling the love and support from family/friends always makes me feel alive, plus Christmas time!! It’s always nice to come back “home” and visit – makes it that much more special.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
It is special! There is SO MUCH to feel ALIVE about right now! Life is just so “interesting”, haha!
Elsie @ Sharing Healthiness says
Congrats on your run! I started running this year and I am so glad I did! I have never run an official 5k but I have run the distance several times. I just enjoy the fact it is not a “race” and I can really enjoy it! For the past 4 years I have lived abroad in several countries but this last year I was back home. I missed it but I have to admit it was hard at the beginning. When you leave for that long you kind of call it home abroad.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you! Yea, this won’t be “official”, but virtual accountability! Nonetheless, it is going to be HUGE for me!
It must be so weird! Not only is home something “strange” but the whole country you’re coming back to!
Elizabeth @ Enjoy Every Bite says
Glad you are home! Being home for the holidays is always the best! I’ve never run an official 5K but have run them plenty of times on my own. Nothing feels better than the sense of accomplishment after a nice run 🙂
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank! Yes, it feels really good!
I’m just amazed at how strong my body and mind are! Running has always been that big scary thing!
Linda @ Veganosity says
There’s no place like home Rebecca. 🙂 Your story reminds me of when Alex and Griffin came home from college for the first time after their first semester. I could tell they were feeling the same way you describe feeling. I love that so much.
If you run, you’re a runner! Embrace it and own it. Good for you! I’m a runner and it makes me happy. I don’t remember my first 5K, but I remember Alex’s because it was this past June. Since then she’s run several 10Ks and a half marathon with me. And she used to HATE running. Keep going!!!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Haha! It is so weird to experience it! I can’t believe I am even in college, living this! I feel like I should still be in middle school!
I’m so excited! Once I accomplish this goal…you know I’ll be gunning for me! I’ve also always wanted to do a tri! Biking is easy, now I’m working on running, but swimming……that’s a WHOLE other story, haha!
Linda @ Veganosity says
Alex convinced me to do a tri next summer. She was on a swim team and a lifeguard/swim instructor so that’s her best event in a tri. Me, I hate putting my head in water, but she’s been working with me and it’s getting a little better. You should do it!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
I need to learn how to swim 😉
Natalie says
Going home always feels weird after its been a while. I’m always subconciously comparing to my apartment, so the bed seems too big or the shower too small or the cabinets too white…etc. It takes me a couple day but eventually it feels like home again 🙂
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
It’s starting to feel a little more like “home” today 😉 I can already tell how ROUGH it is going to be heading back to DC!
Hannah @CleanEatingVeggieGirl says
When you live far away, the drive home is one of the best feelings ever (especially around the holidays). I am always so excited that I don’t even care it is a 5 hour drive!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Yea! The drive wasn’t bad at all! (Of course it was only one way for me! My parents were in the car double that!)
Kim says
There is no place like home even if it’s in NJ
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
NJ love!
lindsay says
congrats on your first 5k! those are the best. Liberating indeed! and enjoy home
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Not yet! The 5k will be NEXT sunday, haha!
But thank you!
lindsay says
oh sheesh, sorry! read that wrong. It’s next weekend? You’ll be great! i promise. I love walking 5k’s. So run or walk and ENJOY.
Sarah | (Cooking for) Kiwi & Bean says
Beautiful post, Rebecca! I’m a little bit older than you ;-), but I remember (like it was yesterday) the feeling of walking into my childhood home after being away at school for awhile. So surreal, and yet super comforting. I was always SO tired that I’d spend the first few days asleep (often on the floor in random rooms around the house), and then I’d spend the rest of the time holed up in the house baking and hanging out, emerging only occasionally to hang out with friends, etc. Impressive that you got out for a run! Nice one. You’ve inspired me to do some exercise today :-).
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
That’s pretty much what I’ll be doing! Haha, I actually almost did just lay down and sleep on the floor! (It took me awhile to fall asleep in my own bed the first night! It was so weird!)
Go out for a run! It is a beautiful invigorating feeling!
Michele @ paleorunningmomma says
After my first 5k I was hooked on racing! I had run for years but never raced, and after that my running went to the next level.
Where are you in NJ? I’m up in Bergen County. I have mixed feelings about the area but overall I think it’s wonderful for my kids to grow up here.
I also love that you are running and I am yoga-ing, too funny ! And your tree in incredible, how could that not make you happy all holiday season!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
I am seriously so excited! I have been wanting this FOR YEARS, but I was always to scared! The only fitness activity I was ever scared about!
Good old Hunterdon County! (Wait…how did I not know you live here!????)
I know! I think we switched fitness lives a bit 😉
Thank you! I really do love ANY tree…we always keep it up way into January too!
Lauren @ The Bikini Experiment says
The tree is so pretty! I will be heading home to New Jersey next Monday. It is the longest I have been away from home so I am sure it will feel a bit surreal to me too. Nice running gear!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you!
It is so surreal! That is the word to describe it!
Kelly says
Your tree is so pretty! Enjoy your time at home and have fun in the joy of your fitness routine. Love that excitement!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Thank you Kelly! XOXO
Carla says
my first 5k was with my then eight year old….and it was EXHILARATING for us both!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
I can already tell it is going to be an EXHILARATING experience!
Farrah says
I’m definitely with you on this–I’ve been in and out of CA so much these days that it definitely “feels like home, but different” for me too. I loved it while I was there, but I still miss it so much! (I definitely took the weather for granted. ;_; )
Love the Christmas tree (Christmas decorations make me so happy!), and hooray for going for your first 5K! 😀 I’ve never actually done one before, haha.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
It’s the weirdest feeling and I haven’t even been gone THAT long!
Thank you 😉 They make me happy too!
You should run on Sunday too then! 😉